Sunday, December 03, 2006

A New Mexico Christmas

~ ~ ~

A NEW MEXICO CHRISTMAS


Christmas is more
Than the holly on the door
And the mistletoe hanging overhead.
It’s more than wind-up toys
And little girls and boys
Waiting for Santa in their beds.

It’s ojos on the tree
And the red Chilies
That make our trees unique.
Piñatas that swing
Are a different thing,
Like Luminarias lining the street.

An owl called 00-TEE
Tells the Christmas story
From the Indian Point of view.
A nativity town
May have faces of brown
When you mix a culture or two.

More than I’ve told
I think you’ll behold
The unusual, interesting ways
Right on hand
In our Southwest land
To celebrate Christmas Day.

The holiday cheer
At this time of year,
It stretches for many miles.
This holiday kind
Of warmth, you’ll find,
Lasts all year in New Mexico smiles.
~ ~ ~

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Unforgettable




~ ~ ~



Winds singing through the pines
and an amazingly blue sky.
What gifts!

The scent of sage mingled with
the essence of the air
in the mountain sun.
Could there be more?

Birds chirping somewhere
beyond my sight
in the lush foliage,
then a doe with her fawn
ventures carefully,
warily,
to the edge of the prairie grass.
She stops
and watches me.


So still.


And the chamber music of nature
continues to entertain
as the doe and I watch each other.
What amazing, deep brown are her eyes.
I breathe slowly,
for even a sudden intake of air
might send her away.
The fawn,
not yet fully artful of the dangers of humans,
nibbles at the dry grasses.


For long minutes we remain thus,
both she and I afraid to move,
and then the opus of nature
is interrupted by something beyond my perception,
but not that of this gentle, beautiful mother.
The fawn is gone in an eyewink,
while the mother lingers a second more,
as if to assure that I won’t follow.


Then she, too, disappears into the safety
of the piñons and pines.

I blink my eyes,
as I’ve been afraid to do for these moments,
and I see that the few clouds in the sky
have shifted while I was mesmerized.
In those seconds
the sounds of nature have changed also,
as I hear more, different birds,
and there are distant sounds of cars on the highway.
I wonder how long we really stood there,
that mother of the wild
and this human one in the doorway.

The sun on my shoulders is warm.
The wind continues to whistle in the trees.
The clouds move slowly across the sky,
and I move on with my activities.
But the fleeting time that I stood
captivated in her eyes
is imprinted in my heart.
Now when I hear the breeze
pushing through the forest
and smell the gentle aromas of nature,
I will remember the gentle creature
who trusted me just enough
to stay and let me know her
a bit.

~ ~ ~

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

My Path

~ ~ ~




I feel the path under my feet
as I walk.
I feel the occasional pebbles underfoot
and sometimes the softness of the grass.
I can see these things, too,
but I don’t or can’t avoid stepping on them.
Feeling these as I walk
seems to be a necessary part of my journey.
I look ahead and see the path
but only so far.
Then it disappears over the horizon
or behind a tree
or around a bend.
Each step brings me closer,
but I’m not sure what it is
I’m seeking.
I’ve walked a long time now,
and I’m sometimes so weary
I want to lie down
and go no farther.
But I don’t.
Instead, I look over my shoulder
at the long road behind me,
and I realize how far I’ve come.
It’s then that I know
there is no stopping me.
I will go where the path leads me,
because only then will I be able
to live the life I’m meant to live,
to experience the joys that wait for me.
I haven’t worked this hard,
walked so far,
fought as I have,
to not realize the rewards.
This path does not end,
it is my life.
Let it guide me
where I am meant to be,
because I’m ready!





~ ~ ~


Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Winter Sunset

~ ~ ~



The sun is low in the West.
Just at the moment when it touches the horizon,
it appears vast,
a massive orb of fiery salmon color
against the evening sky.
The barren trees of winter
stand between me and the sun,
their leafless branches weaving together,
forming a dense web
just above the line of the hillside
like a stiffly starched collar of black lace
rising upward from the bosom of the earth.
The orange sun, glowing between the filigree of trees,
emphasizes that frilled pattern with its molten lava brilliance,
breathtakingly penetrating the spans between the dark branches.

The sky behind the sun
is a mass of brilliant pigment.
There are no clouds to snatch the colors
and twist them into variegated tones
as found on the artist’s palette
when he mixes over and over,
looking for the perfect hue.
Rather the color spreads away
from the vivid glob of orange and pink
as if drawn by the artist’s knife across the board,
becoming gradually fainter
until it begins to blend with the muted blue of the late day sky,
and creating a color unique to this moment.
No beginning and no end to the colors.
They are simply there,
an indescribable and wonderful vision
to end the close of day with flourish
and marking it unique in the never-ending
march of sunsets through centuries.


Then, in only a few short moments,
the sun, that titanic globe of wonder,
slips beyond the hillside
and the light quickly fades.
The darkness that was the tangle of empty tree limbs
only a breath earlier,
now wraps around everything in sight
and grows deeper
until it all is black.

I bid good-parting to the day.
I have no choice.
But already I am planning
to be here at sunset
tomorrow.

~ ~ ~

Monday, November 06, 2006

Her Name Was Mystery

~ ~ ~

Her name was Mystery,
because she was a stray
from places unknown.
She came to our home,
and she was love,
both loved and loving.
She was my protector.
Gentle as a baby, she was,
so how could she protect me?
But I knew she would,
because she was devoted to me,
sleeping beside the bed at night,
especially when I slept alone,
watchful.
Her heart was gentle,
she never barked
until the man in the black hat came
and she became the dog from hell,
placing herself between me and him.
Hat removed, she became quiet,
once again our loving, docile dog.
We could never train her
in a chain collar,
nor walk her on a linked leash
for at the rattle
of the metal chain,
she cowed and whimpered,
almost as in pain.
Had some man in a big, dark hat
used a chain
on this beautiful, loving creature?
What a beast he must have been,
for this dog, our Mystery,
had nothing but love
and gentle devotion
in our home.
My heart broke
when she died.
She was loving and devoted
to the last breath,
blessing our lives
and teaching us in silence
that even the wounded spirit can love.







~ ~ ~



Sunday, November 05, 2006

Indian Summer Sky

~ ~ ~





The sky is deep azure,
so blue and mellow
I’m pulled into it
and wrapped in the velvety folds.
The warmth of the sun on my back
is a welcome rarity on a November day.
I close my eyes and let my senses
go where they will,
and they go everywhere and no where.
I can almost feel my body float free,
while my mind is caught up
in simple happiness.
I know there will not
be many more days like this one,
when I can soak up the Indian Summer,
breathing it to the bottom on my lungs.
I hate to see the gentle weather go,
but other treats lie ahead.
The snows will come,
blanketing everything in white,
creating a new and beautiful sight
and cleansing the dust away.
It will soak into the thirsty soil
and prepare for the spring.
New life will begin to unfold under the cover of white,
bringing hope for another spring
with the beautiful buds of green
and blades of grass
and leaves.
Another beginning.
Never an end,
but always another beginning.


~ ~ ~

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Haiku IV

~ ~ ~


















Vivid crimson leaves
framed against the azure sky -
beautiful color delight.


~ ~ ~

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Forever Memories

~ ~ ~



I look to the sky.
Silent, the wind moves the clouds.
Silent, the earth moves.
Everything is peaceful.



If I close my eyes a moment
and take a deep breath,
then look again, it seems
the clouds
have jumped across the sky.


My life is like that.
When I don’t pay attention,
things seem to have rushed ahead,
and time has sped away
taking with it
many precious moments
that I meant to savor just a bit more.

I’ve had many blessings,
and each is a treasure.

These memories are wrapped up
and tucked into the protected corners
of my heart.

These are mine forever,
untouched by time,
and that’s the most precious of all.




The mom
ents are gone,
but for the rest of my life
I can kiss my first love,



or see the desert sunset at noon.



I see my daughter as a bride,










my son in his graduation gown
with that crooked grin,











and hold my baby for the first time,








almost in the same quiet moment.



I remember the wind in my hair
and my feet in the air
as my bicycle coasts down the hill,





and have a loving chat with my mom
before she slides away into the haze.




All the moments already past

are just waiting to be taken
from their secret place
to be relived
and cherished
one more time.
Forever.




~ ~ ~

Sunday, October 29, 2006

I Watched You Walk Away

I watched you walk away
without knowing
it would be the last
I’d see you.
Neither of us meant
it to be so,
it just was.
I’d given you my heart
long before that night ----
Did you even know that?
Or care?
I think you did.



On that last night
I loved you as completely
as I knew how.
That never stopped
even though
you were gone.

My life has been good.
Some ups and downs
but good.
Except I’ve missed you,
-------still do.
I’ve loved again
and been loved in return.
But you still have
my heart,
the part you took
the night I watched you
walk away.


~ ~ ~

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Fall Is Here

I've been busy, and only now did I realize that I haven't posted here for over a month. Time certainly can slip by, can't it? Here is one that I wrote recently while watching the vibrant colors of the trees in the valley below the house.k We had some strong winds in the past few days, and many of those trees are nearly bare now.

~ ~ ~


Fall is here.
Rain is gently coming down.
It’s not cold yet,
but there is a coolness in the air
that tells of what is to come.
This fall marks a turning point in my life,
one that is long awaited,
and I open my arms to it.
Turn, leaves!
Bring the cool that relieves us
from the summer heat.
Soon, we’ll walk in the fallen leaves,
hearing them crunch and swish underfoot.
The air will be crisp, clean
but for the whiffs of smoke
from fireplaces,
where I picture families sipping cider
and watching the flames dance.
Fall flowers are in bloom,
grass is slowing it’s growth
and the geese are overhead,
trumpeting their journey south.
Life is good when fall is here.
Life is good.



~ ~ ~

Friday, September 29, 2006

I've Wandered

Dear friends, I probably won't post for a few days. Today is the day I leave . . . and the day I've finally arrived. Blessings until we meet again. Peace.

~ ~ ~


I've Wandered

I’ve wandered.
I’ve rested and I know
it’s time to go again.
It is time to find the next road,
the one that will bring me closer to home.
I have no idea what is at that home,
or even where it is,
but it is time to begin the trek.
Nothing is easy
that’s worth the search,
but perhaps what’s not easy
is exactly what I need
to have peace.


~ ~ ~

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

I Knew You

~ ~ ~

I KNEW YOU


I knew you a long time ago.
Or did I?
I guess I knew
who I thought I did.
But maybe not who you are.

I met you again
not long ago,
and you were just as I remembered you.
Only different.

Do I know you?


~ ~ ~

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Homecoming 2003

~ ~ ~

HOMECOMING 2003

by
L S A

written 10/2003



It is the Autumn of 2003. We went out to dinner earlier tonight, something many like us do, those of us at or near retirement age, and as many of other ages do. I am reluctant to admit that we now do just that, go to dinner, then return home, rub our stomachs and groan about having eaten too much, and finally wait for the nap that we know is sneaking up behind us as we stretch out in the recliner. What has happened to the party animals we once were, those charming young people who went to dinner and then out to dance and have a lively evening with friends? Ah, well, long gone.

But I am already straying from my topic. Well, perhaps not. I am considering how things in the world have changed . . . and remained the same all in the same breath.

The restaurant was almost overflowing, about half or so being teenagers, all dressed to the nines (they wouldn't understand that phrase, would they?). We asked about the regalia and learned that it was homecoming at a nearby school. All through dinner, I kept looking at them and smiling, tickled with their actions, their dress, the hairdos.

Several thoughts occurred to me. First of all, it is good that they don't dance like we did . . . . the girls couldn't keep on the strappy, high-heeled sandals and take even one step backward, let alone attempt a spin during a swing dance or a jitterbug! But they looked awfully cute! The shoes themselves were daunting, at least to me. Some were high-heeled thongs with rhinestone studded straps which made my feet ache just looking! And the thick soled platforms, so popular now, seemed to contrast vividly with their tiny, lithe bodies. I remember a period of my life some decades ago when I wore similar shoes and thought them completely normal, at least until such time as I stepped on a pebble, causing my foot to teeter to the left and leaving me with a seriously sprained ankle that took months to heal. Thus, I now see such shoes as clunky, frivolous, and wonder about their appeal to the young ladies out to dine with their escorts.

The girls were adorable in their little "evening" dresses . . . . sequins, slinky and glittery materials, backless, strapless, and laced from waist to shoulders. When they got up to walk around, I giggled each time one tugged her strapless gown back to a modest level or walked with a rather unbecoming clomp-clomp-clomp in those ever so cute but unrealistic shoes. Bless their hearts, most of them didn’t walk quite erect, but leaning forward a bit as their bodies tried to compensate for the unaccustomed high heels.

The dresses were very cute, something that my mother would have died if I’d put on while still in high school! Slim-fitting, soft materials that draped over their bodies, so fashionable . . . and so revealing! Their little bikini panties left incredible lines across their slinky little butts! Aren't these kids part of the generation that have taught all us women about the wonders of thongs? Ahh, well, obviously not this group! Or perhaps their moms could cope with the dresses, but weren’t ready yet to give in to the wearing of thongs. At any rate, it seemed that this young ladies were sort of suspended somewhere between being daddies’ little darlings and feisty little sirens of today’s world.

Each girl had her own version of the "done-up" hairdo, you know, the one we actually had done at the beauty shop in a style that we would never, NEVER wear in the real world. All those curls were bobbing and flipping at a dazzling pace. Were we ever like that? Probably so. I’ve noticed that when a woman of any age wears a hairdo to which she is unaccustomed, there is more movement from the neck up than is “usual.” Why is that?

Secondly, I commented to my husband that I don't even remember being that young. Then I corrected my statement . . . . .I do remember being that age rather clearly. But I don't remember feeling as young as they looked! OHMIGAWD, they are just babies! The boys had carnations, some pinned to their dress shirts because they wore no jackets. The ones who had jackets had about an inch and a half of white shirt below the jacket sleeve! We mused about the difficulty high school aged boys had getting just the right amount of shirt sleeve visible at the cuff, and by the next big school dance, there had been enough growth that neither the shirt nor the jacket fit right, causing the boy angst about his appearance, while his parents surely groaned inwardly because it meant another wardrobe adjustment which strained the family budget.

Throughout dinner I continued to be enthralled with the youngsters, our future. A few sat throughout their meals, but most of them popped up every few minutes and scurried as gracefully as possible in the unfamiliar garb, obviously chosen to give them the appearance of grownups, and framing their equally obvious struggle to fit the self images each had.

It was a fun evening, watching and chuckling about these little women of tomorrow's world and their awkward knights in shirtsleeved armor. I am sure that our parents . . . .oops! make that "and grandparents"! . . . . similarly smiled and faded back into their own memories, amusements, and amazements around us. Isn’t it wonderful to be able to sit back and enjoy watching the endeavors of becoming adult in our society without having to relive it? These were children-going-on-adults, finding their niche, searching for their own paths of experience and emulating the older persons in their lives, despite the probability that each would deny influence from the elders of their tribe.

And finally, the most heartwarming aspect of the evening may well be that these precious youngsters, the ones who made my evening so enjoyable and gave me cause to smile indulgently, will be taking their sprained ankles, necks rubbed sore by buttoned collars, and their broken hearts home to someone else. My dues are paid. Being sixty years old isn’t all bad!

~ ~ ~

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Affirmations From A Child



The following is untitled, just random thoughts I had one day about why the rough parts of parenting are worth it. Sometimes, it is hard to remember. Times like this bring back the answer with no doubt as to why we continue.








My children made my life, in general, worth going on. Coming home to my children was one of life's greatest pleasures.






~ ~ ~

Nothing soothes
The frazzled ends
Of a bad day
As a sweet child’s voice
Singng a song
As she cuddles in your arms
And whispers
That her best friend
Wore a dress today, too.
Somehow the world seems right again
As she recites a verse
About a green frog
And a pink bunny,
And you really don’t care
How tired you are
When she says,
“Mommy, you’re pretty
And I love you.”

Listen to the child,
Feel her soft hand
On your face....
Let her gently
Make the good life
Real again.


~ ~ ~






Here is the same little girl
cuddling with her daddy
and spending time
with my own daddy.



Saturday, September 09, 2006

GOD’S PATCHWORK QUILT

I will miss this this year. I will leave Kansas City before the leaves turn. Perhaps I will find another scene about which to write in New Mexico. But for now . . . .

~ ~ ~


GOD’S PATCHWORK QUILT

by
LSA
written October, 2004



Driving the rolling hills on the way to Nowhere, I top a hill, somewhat larger than the others, to see the array of trees of many variety stretching before me as the hills flow down into the valley ahead of me. It’s a sight that I have seen many times over during the summer, but now, in the mellowing days of fall it is different.

All summer long I’ve been driving around town as my job prescribes for me, but in the swelter of summer, the blanket of green formed by the thick tangle of trees in Kansas City doesn’t catch my eye in this way. Had I noticed at this same spot in July, I would have seen an almost never ending green, and if I think about it, I would be refreshed somewhat by the knowledge that, if I had time, pulling my car under a part of that protective cover would bring some welcome relief from
the hot summer sun. but I never have time to do that, well, unless a client cancels an appointment, and then I grumble because of the lost revenue, so the cool respite under the blanket of green rarely comes to mind.

But now, in the cooling days of autumn, topping the hill brings a sight that I’ve enjoyed for most of the 28 years I’ve called Kansas City Home. Yes, Fall in Missouri has a special treat. And when you spend as much time in your automobile as I do, you might, like me, begin to wax poetic.


The sight I love so is those same trees, now at the height of their annual parade of color as they prepare for even cooler weather yet to come. Where before I saw a carpet of green following the gentle flow of the hills, I now see a calico pattern of reds, yellows and golds, some still green and others in shades of coral and vivid rose.


I whimsically see this brightly variegated pattern as being a patchwork quilt, made especially for us by God’s own hand. This quilt is stretched over the rolling hills, and I feel sure, although I can’t see it, tucked in around the edges to keep in the last vestiges of warmth of this season.


Could this be Nature’s way of reminding us that we should prepare for the winter ahead? “Get out the quilts!” she is saying. “It will be cold soon, and I know you don’t want to think about winter, but it is time. Air the blankets and quilts, protect the water faucets, make sure last year’s winter coats still fit and are clean.”


All too soon that patchwork quilt I see from my vantage point will be strewn on the ground. We only have a short period of warning to prepare before that patchwork quilt will be under our feet, crunching and rustling as we walk, and it will serve as a blanket in one sense, as it protect the ground growth for the hard winter months ahead. But in another way the tree limbs which will begin to be exposed as the leaves fall, will be skeletal arms, swaying and thrashing in the winds, warning us to delay no longer, winter is very close.


So, while I slow my car to a pace that is likely maddening to any other driver unfortunate enough to have picked this street to drive today, I know to soak in the beauty and enjoy it today. Soon it will be getting cooler and the nip of Winter will be all around me. And I make a mental note to check out my winter clothes during the next weekend. Oh, and get the quilts out for some fresh air while the weather is still amenable.
















~ ~ ~

Friday, September 08, 2006

Innocent Love

~ ~ ~















INNOCENT LOVE


I loved you with the heart of a child,
innocent,
without condition.
Through the years that love remained,
tucked away,
protected from the world.
When I took it out,
exposed it to the truth,
it was clear
that my love
was still the love of a child
and not enough
for either of us
today.
I still love you,
always will,
but now there are conditions.

~ ~ ~

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

You Know Me

~ ~ ~

You Know Me


Sometimes you frighten me.
The way you anticipate
My needs.
You seem to know what I want
Before I do.
Sometimes I think
If I wanted
Baked Alaska,
You’d just happen to have one
On hand.
Or is it just that you’ve
Convinced me
You can do it?
It’s hard at times
Separating my own tho’ts
From your hold on me.


~ ~ ~

Monday, September 04, 2006

Where Did You Go?

~ ~ ~

Where Did You Go?



Where did you go
when you walked away?
You were gone,
but you left footprints
across my life.
I try to ignore them
or scrub them away
but nothing works.
I’ve tried to follow them
to where you are,
but they seem to go
in circles.
So where are you?
Why did you
leave footprints,
not your heart?

~ ~ ~


Sunday, September 03, 2006

Butterflies

~ ~ ~

BUTTERFLIES




I love to watch the butterflies
as they flutter in the garden,
wisps of color, seemingly weightless,
yet they almost struggle to keep afloat
with choppy, irregular wing strokes.
To see the butterfly
in the warmth of a summer day
helps me understand
that all life has purpose,
mine and the butterfly’s, too.
The fragility of the butterfly reminds me
how delicate life is
and how, at times,
I must labor in my journey.
Then I float on wings of success
which catches the updraft
for a bit.






The powdery wings,
almost translucent,
seem lighter even than a feather.
Yet the wings, so beautifully decorated,
will carry the little butterfly
thousands of miles
before winter threatens
in my yard.






The colors tell me that life itself
is a montage,
colorful mixtures with a special quality
if I take time,
as does the butterfly,
to stop, to notice,
to savor the contrasts which make the fabric
of my life,
distinct contrasts,
yet connecting to form
a mantle of beauty
and warm memories.
I like to think of the butterfly
as a message from God,
kisses from angels,
as the soft wings of the butterfly
brush against my skin.
God sending angel kisses in butterfly wings.
How could it be any better?



~ ~ ~

Thursday, August 31, 2006

I've Loved You

~ ~ ~

I’VE LOVED YOU

I’ve loved you
for all these years,
intensely and purely.
I’ve loved you
deeply and tenderly
and tried to meet
your needs.
I’ve loved you
when no one else could
because of your mood
but I knew you were hurting.
I’ve loved you
when the things you’ve done
have torn my heart apart.
I’ve loved you
thru the hurting times
when you’ve accused
and spoken wretchedly.
I’ve love you
because I love you
even when I couldn’t love you.

But now.............
The time has come
and I don’t know
if I can anymore.
I’ve loved you
thru thick and thin
but now I’m all loved out.

~ ~ ~