Standing On The Edge

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Standing on the edge,
looking in,
looking around,
seeing nothing.

What do I hear?
There is sound,
but it is nothing.

I know that I’m where I should be,
but I’m here
waiting
waiting.

Sometimes we have control over life
and others we don’t
and knowing the difference
is key
to making life worth the living,
to being happy,
to avoiding being pulled
into the darkness
of nothing.

Holding on to the good in life
I know is what I must do.
Disappointment will be,
but I won’t give in again.
I’ll remember to be happy
even here,
standing on the edge,
looking in,
looking around,
seeing nothing.

I’m in charge.
Of me.
Of my frame of mind.
Of my happiness.


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Lost Joy

This was written a long time ago after a miscarriage. I can't tell you how emotionally painful it is to lose a baby. It's something you never get over.

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What was our joy that day?
Why were we so happy,
Can you remember?
It’s hard
To think our hearts
Could have been so full,
And now it seems every bit of happiness
Is gone.
I’m so tired
Of feigning a tranquility
I really can’t feel
Just to keep away
The sad-eyed people
Who come to offer comfort
When they have no idea
Why.

Just let me be alone
To cry.



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Shooting Star

One of the amazing things in my new home is the nighttime sky. There aren't so many man-made lights as there were in the city to interfere with seeing the stars, and it is an awesome sight to be able to walk out in the yard and see so many stars every night. The zoom on my camera is good, but not enough to show the stars without using settings that I'm not used to just yet. But I can show you the gorgeous crescent moon.

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SHOOTING STAR



I watched the star
shoot across the sky,
quickly it appeared
and quickly it was gone.
It’s difficult to imagine
that what seemed to take seconds
had actually been a millennium
and happened a millennium ago.
All other stars were paled
by the one
during those short, exciting seconds
when it streaked,
leaving a trail of stardust
like a memory
and was gone
with a blink of my eye.
And if I close my eyes again
I can remember the bright flash
and the sparkling powdery trace left behind,
the brief burst of fiery light
against the dark sky.
It reminds me of you.




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Words OF Love

~ ~ ~

What is is about us?
I know I love you,
There’s no question to that.
I look at you and I know.
It’s different from day to day,
My love -- just as the weather
Or my mood
Or the color of the sky
Is never the same.

How can I tell you that
So you’ll understand?

You want my love to be
Constant,
Passionate.

It is! And it also changes!

But sometimes I know
You’re frustrated with me
And you don’t understand
And I wish I had the words
But I don’t
And you need to know
But how can I say it
And ... and ...



~ ~ ~

Battle In The Sky

~ ~ ~

The sky is high blue,
that luxurious blue that comes
on a crisp fall day,
so rich that it seems endless,
pulling at you
and wrapping around you
till you feel warm and safe.
The azure is dotted
with light, fluffy clouds,
just here and there,
moving, wafting playfully.

Several jets have
crossed the sky today.
Where they passed,
they have left long streaks,
white streamers of mist,
crisscrossing against the blue.

The sunlight on the bands
gives an almost metallic appearance,
silver and gold shafts
boldly slashing against the satin sky.

Fanciful on this crisp, warm fall afternoon,
I ponder these spears of the gods,
winging across the heavens
in some sort of heavenly battle
or perhaps celestial olympic games.
Much more fun to imagine so
than to say simply,
“Ah, ‘con trails’,”
and look away
with no lasting memory
of the beauty on a fall day
full of whimsical daydreams.




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